Perseverance pt 2

To clarify - what I don't mean to imply is that you must rule with an iron fist nor that there is not room for collaboration. Within a framework designed by the parents the students are free to make daily choices. (see Montessori here) Would they like to spend another week further exploring ancient Greece? Great. They are not free to pass over the Industrial Revolution entirely however because it seems 'boring'. We are there to encourage, but also to provide balance.

Do they feel like starting with math or composition? That choice can happen. They are not free to declare that math is not compatible with their long term plans therefore they choose not to do it. What we have found is that the novel that began with a rough start often becomes a favorite several chapters later. Subjects that once held no appeal become quite enjoyable when the student begins to master them. Children (and adults!) often confuse boredom or dislike with frustration and lack of comprehension. Once the subject is better known to them and they experience regular success it is no longer drudgery and often becomes a favorite.

Case in point is one of our daughters and her piano lessons. Piano is a given at our house. We have a lovely teacher and a wonderful instrument. We had one child who was struggling however and begged to quit. Our policy is that they should continue with lessons at least through the jr high years, which will send them into the world proficient. We were more than reluctant to have her quit, but her arguments were compelling and we wondered if she didn't just indeed lack the aptitude as she insisted. Our instructor asked us to persevere with this student and to practice MORE and not less as one would perhaps have been inclined to do. It worked beautifully. We came up alongside her, provided lots more support and now she often works to finish her other subjects so she can get to the piano.

Our children need not be chained to a cheerless desk. I have taught phonics to busy bodies hanging upside down off the couch. I have seen those little people later practice reading aloud to older siblings while they work a handcraft. They paint, they are surrounded by classical and contemporary music, they spend enormous amounts of time outdoors. They are able to do this when their studies and their environment are well ordered. Their responsibilities can be met easily and pleasantly, thus enabling them to have large sections of their day to call their own.

Our position is that doors should not be shut to them because they have not been adequately prepared nor shortsighted. We are obligated, imo, to see to that. Should they elect not to walk through those doors that is a viable option. They should not be forced to make that choice by default however because of childish indiscretion.

We have worked with colleges in different states and the military system. Reality is, except for the extremely rare Ivy League school, most colleges are very black and white about prereq's. They just want to see so many years of lab science to include chemistry, three yrs of higher math with Alg II, 2 yrs of foreign language and so on. The military recruiter needs a very standard transcript as well. It is a disservice to mislead our children about these realities. While you can experiment with alternative daily schedules and choice of texts, bottom line is this content and these study skills are what will be required for many walks of life. Like I said, that may not end up being their walk. That should always be a choice truly made of their own volition and not because they lacked the education to pursue them.

I wish I could have included the private mail I have received. I can say with certainty there are few students who regret the knowledge they have gained. Usually if there is a complaint it was over methodology or teacher personality and not content and those are easily remedied. There ARE many who become regretful and even resentful over their limited life options when they have not been prepared properly. The argument is that one could make up for that lack when one becomes sufficiently motived. However, we never, ever have the same quantity, nor quality, of time as adults that we have as children to do this. Additionally, even if one is properly motivated, the study skills and other habits that would enable a person to forge ahead in an accelerated manner are not generally available on demand. They take consistent effort over a long period of time to develop. They are gained only at a great price when acquired later in life. I speak from experience here.

So, my assertion is that education can and should be pleasant, collaborative, and thorough. It can be all those things and well-ordered at once. We need not choose between happy or well prepared children. They can be both! My position is that the success they experience by the development of good habits, study skills, and mastery of subject content breeds far more contentment and satisfaction than 100% self-direction ever could.

Comments

[Cheryl]

Thanks Kim, for these two posts. I'm still kind of a newcomer homeschooler and I appreciated you sharing your experience.

[Louise]

Bravo, bravo, bravo, and one more time for good measure, BRAVO!!!! You express my feelings exactly, but you articulate them much better than I could.
Louise mom of 11 (9 boys and 2 girls)

[Patty]

Kim,
Wow this is exactly what I have been thinking about. I have been busy putting together a transcript for my oldest to possibly go to a Catholic high school for 11th grade. As I do this, I realize just how important it is, while we are homeschooling, to make sure we have a plan and to know where we are aiming. Great posts and very well timed for me. Thanks.

[Genevieve]

This was a fabulous post! It's something which I have pondered when I wrote my last post but couldn't quite articulate. Like Louise, BRAVO!

[Kristin]

Thank you,once again,for sharing.I am seeing the error of allowing these methods in our lives.Some out of need and some because of the guilt I have felt for not letting my children "lead the way".I know that there has to be a balance and I am learning that there are some things that we just need to know in life.It seems that the Lord is bringing me full circle in these philosophies.I have been homeschooling for 8 or so years and I have so much to learn.I am grateful to have wonderful women like you who share their struggles so I can learn right along w/you.Kristin

[aussieannie]

I've come to these great postings via Willa, and I am so grateful to have found them - bless you for sharing your wisdom with others, I am sure that great good will come of them for many, it has clarified important things for me....

God Bless, Anne