A Calm Voice

What follows are exerpts from a compelling argument for mastering our tone of voice taken from the Titus 2 Ministry site which is chock full of convicting articles. (please visit the site for the rest) I suspect for most of us, voice is not given much thought, surely not as much as it warrants. And yet we are told, 

"A gentle answer turns away wrath,  But a harsh word stirs up anger."

What are we stirring up in our homes?

  "A blow with the tongue is just as wicked and irritating and irrational as a blow with the hand; and yet many people let their tongues run loose in the family and strike fore and aft without restraint, and then wonder why there is no government in their homes." 

"Many a man will strike his wife with his tongue, blow after blow, when he would not strike her with his hand. And sometimes wives are tongue-strikers, who do not strike with their hands." 

"The poor government of many families is due to the striking freedom given to the tongues." 

We often bemoan the behavior of children without acknowledging the source of their disposition. Children learn what they live. A sobering thought is that they are learning to parent while her with us in our homes. A good question to ask ourselves is whether we would be happy to watch our children respond to our grandchildren as we respond to them today. 

"Children who hear their parents scold and fret at each other, who hear rebuke and censure, harsh tones and loud faultfindings in them, will not get the obedient spirit, or the harmonious disposition, from the atmosphere of their homes. On the contrary, they will catch the words and tones of harshness and the spirit of disobedience as quickly as they would the measles if exposed to them. 

 Sour, complaining, quarrelsome dispositions are not made in the home atmosphere which is always musical with gentle voices." 

I particularly like this point:

"Our good ideals are often set in sharp contrast with our bad realities. We desire to be so much better than we are that we often blush at our deficiencies." 

This is all too true but yet,

"...the words we speak, the tones in which we utter them, the voice-power we give them, are so outward that we can control them with Christ's help. We need not rage in speech. We need not "grate harsh discord" in our tones. We need not thunder in power of voice. We need not stir up anger nor drive the home spirit weeping away by our manner of speech. This is ours to manage--ours to control"

This we must remember.  This is ours to manage.  We can choose to speak gently or at least recommit to doing so when we find we have strayed from this resolution. We have it within us to ask for forgiveness when hasty words escape us. 

Comments

[Cheryl]

I am amazed that you have posted this today. Although I think and read and pray about these things often, today was one of the most horrible days I can remember, filled with many regrets.

[Diana]

Oh My...tell me I am not the only one that struggles with this...you just held a mirror up, thank God for Divine Mercy and the Sacraments!!

[J.C.]

Ouch...I think this is definitely my number one struggle. In the quest to get things done, I hate how I inevitably become the barking drill sargeant, only to hear the kids parrot me back to myself and back to each other. And then, my perfectly logical response: to bark back harder and tell them to stop using the very tone of voice and harshness I am using to address them. Painful. I had just vowed to redouble my efforts to conquer this vice after hearing at a homeschooling conference that one of the best ways to have a calm and loving atmosphere in the home is to use good etiquette in addressing family members. I suppose the idea is that when you are trying to be formal it is harder to sound like a shrew! Thank you, Kim!!! Prayers for all in their own endeavors for saintliness....

[cindy dodd]

This is so hard for me!
Cindy